explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
