omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
