gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Randomize
