Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
