Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
