just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
