You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
