my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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