At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
