Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
