So drunk its hurt
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
