So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
