apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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