Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
