p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
