He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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