I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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