Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
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