it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
