is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
