need another drink. this is the easiest way
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
