she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
