dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
