Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
