Already got asked if we're dating
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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