I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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