You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
