i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
