So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
