All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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