i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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