He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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