Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
