that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
