did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
