Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
