You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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