bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
