I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
