Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
