make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Randomize
