U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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