just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i will never coherently bang her
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
