He is an equal opportunity slut.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
