doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
