singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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