i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
