i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
