my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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