Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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