new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
third nipple confirmed
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
