Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
