A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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