I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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