This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
