she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
ugly people sure do ruin things
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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