Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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